2009 Almost Done

Wa Hooo…. 2009 is almost at an end and the 2010 era will soon be upon us.
For some of us it is a time for making resolutions and trying to be a better person…. and so forth.
Yet I feel like I should have been a bit better off then this.
I can’t say as I feel that 2009 was well worth it.
Thought I had a good job and was making a well thought out plan for the future. HA,….  did that ever shoot back up in my face.
My family is still together, guess that is a plus.
2009 is a year that really sucked!….. OK!… It was not productive and I am glad it will be over soon. Sure hope that 2010 will be a better year.
I know I should not feel this way but to tell ya truth I am so sick of not getting the love anymore.
I have yet to figure out why I can’t cuddle or get a hug, or even a “I Love You” now and then.
 
O’well guess it’s just another day in my world.

Chow for Now

Back at my old job

Well after 5 months I had to go back to my old job.
This time of a different position, not a supervisor…. strange.
I felt a bit unease. I have worked there for 17 years and yet in just under a half a year I felt like a “newbie”, wasn’t sure what to do. Weird.
Here I am at 42 and at the end of another year, Wow… what a different way to think when I thought I was changing my life six months ago.
Thinking I was about to make a new chapter in my life, something I thought was to make my family and I happy. What a joke!
I should have known that I was making a mistake. Now I am really wondering.
I guess I should be happy that I have a job. I left on real good terms, did not “Burn the Bridge” as to say. but yet still feel cheated in a way.
Well life goes on and I will write new chapters in my life as they come.
Then why?…. Nobody sees my life and how I feel.
Now,…   if I only had a way to make my dreams become reality.

Chow for Now

Snow is here, and I feel older.

Well it has finally snowed here in Alaska. About 2-5 inches.
My son said he had to shut a window where he was at cause it got cold. 
Of course he is in Arizona. Lucky kid.
Not too much going on. My daughter turned 19 and I feel older.
My oldest son in AZ is doing fine he is working and waiting to see a football game with mom in January. Mom to is also eager to get out of the cold, agin.
My son and I met in Seattle to see the Seahawks slam the Cougars 41-0. Awesome first game. Plus it was a well overdue father – son get together. We had a fun time and am waiting for next year.
As for me I am doing my own thing. Just do small jobs to past the time for now. I’m not to sure where to go from here. After working 17 years at the same place and thinking that I was never going to leave now seems like I can’t beleave I did it. Here I thought I was making a great decision and to find out that I was not going to make the money as promised.
Wow … what a real bummer. I was really hoping to have made a good decision for once.
I spent time and money to get it to work.
Now I have to look for work agin. At 42 this is not as easy as it sounds. Plus unemployment is lame cause I worked 17 years and only get the last years unemployment.
Come to find out if you don’t use unemployment in one year, then you lose it. Now when you do need it then you only have the previous year and not the number of years worked. Tell me then where does the rest of those years go?
So now I am enjoying the life of sitting at home and being “Mister Mom”. Fun Fun.
Life goes on!

Chow for Now

My son Flew the coupe

Well my son turned 21 in March, he left for Arizona about a week ago.
Man do I miss him.
I know he will be OK. He is a smart man and is a go getter (at times).
Really though, it is cool to have raised a fine young man. We are proud of him and all he accomplished growing up. From football to graduating with honers. Now that was cool. My son with a 4.0 and dad with a 0.4. ( I did’nt finish school)
He has allways wanted to leave Alaska, not to much here to do.
What will be a wonder is how he will adjust to the heat. Here in Alaska the temp tops out at maybe 65 – 75, but there the temp can top out at 100 and more.
Well I’m sure what ever the temp is he’ll be happy there.

Chow for Now.

See Ya Ted Stevens

Well after 40 years of up holding Alaska’s values and best interests it is time to say Good bye.
There are many mixed feeling towards Ted Stevens.
Some were surprised when they found out that his house came about from the help of VECO  and other companies, and $250,000 my not seem alot but think of the folks out there who have to deal with everyday life. They did not see any thing from Ted Stevens that others did.
Money was put to other things then what was needed at the time.

Now we will have a new government soon. This will be a mark for history.
You see the goverment has always been to me a bunch of people who sit around and talk about what should be done and then make promises to each other, just to help some others in there politacal life.
Yet the American worker is left with higher food, gas, electric, house payments and so on.
This new government that has come about will have to deal with what the over 200 years of known political ways were lived by and for some died by.
I really hope this new goverment will be able to fix this mess we are in.
Chow for Now

Was Portage Glacier / Now Portage Lake

It wasn’t but 30 years ago we use to go to Portage Glacier a well known place to visit and see the glacier up close. There we would get our coolers and pack it with glacier ice, it was awesome for packing the camping goods.
Tourist would come from all over the world just to be able to see if not touch the historic glacier.
Now we have a visitor center and it shows how the glacier has disappeared threw out the years.
I have seen this in other glaciers from around the world and it is sad, we as man kind have now only begun to understand the impact the has been created from years of unknowing / uncaring uses of different chemicals and gases.
Even with this, I am still amazed on how many people view this as normal, when the only normal thing is the result from our learning and evolution to were we are today.
Look if we knew this 20 or 30 years ago we would still be in the ages of the 70’s.
That is, we would be looking to figure a way to have energy with the lowest impact on earth.
Yet in the 70’s we were told of these things and it is ironic to have come from many folks from a time of free love and wanting peace. You know who you are and for the ones who have past on, well this is for you. You told us this was going to happen if we did not start looking into ways to reduce our need for oil and other forms of problems that we face due to man kinds goofs.

Chow

Not about religion

Life is how you see it and should not be how others want you to see it.

I say this cause it seems that when ever any one talks about life or death people often bring up God.

My last post “A way to see life” there were some  comments that were made about religion, well I hate to break it to you all but the post was not about God or religion. It was about how society and civilization has used some sort of believing to get were we are today.
If one chooses to have God as a faith, or even a butterfly for that matter then it should not be brought up that there is evil in our life and we need to repent and ask the lord to forgive us every day.

I was brought up with going to church and all that it really taught me was to be nice to others, by the way it was a Baptist church I have also attended a Catholic and Jehovah services. They all had the same message in one form or another.
Nobody should ever try and push a belief or religion on anyone, doing this is just wrong.
If you believe in God or whatever then great, but don’t think that just cause someone writes about “life” or “death” that they need to be saved. Your just pushing your belief or religion in hopes that they will see it your way, well sorry but life does not work that way.

Chow

A way to see life

Many ask why we are here yet know one really knows, or do we?
The way I see it is we are nothing more then a bio compound with many different parts to create what we call a human or animal. What that means to me is we only exist to survive.
Humans and animals all have the same ending, we die. Nothing more nothing less.
We as a civilization have existed only on belief. Whether it was a gold statue or a goat or God above.
It all came down to a belief.
When I think of this I start to wonder what if society , civilization human or whatever did not have a belief. How would that have effected or impacted the world today?
It took a belief in something to get where we are today, yet we all know deeply we are all not here for really any reason other then to survive.
Belief is a good thing to have cause without some kind of belief I don’t think we would be here.
It is a real bummer to have to die, and there is really nothing we can do to stop it, so I guess then the best way to die is to believe we were here for something.

Chow

Summer Vacation brings Summer Vandals

Well now it is summer vacation for the schools and the last days for seniors. You see more and more hanging out everywhere. Some for fun and a few for wrong doings.
While driving to work I would see windows smashed and think how it must be a bummer to come out in the early morning to find a window broke, and only hope that no one else got hit, of course that would prove to be a thought only to see that a few more on the same road had windows broke.
Yet at 2am to 5am there is not a lot to do and roaming the roads always brings some sort of event. Most not of the wise decisions.
Now more and more you are see people using there web cams to catch these folks. With free software to maintain surveillance of your home or office.

Never enough time

WOW…. My oldest is 20 years old. That is half my age. Where has the time gone?
One day he is learning to walk {which i was at work} ride a bike, {work} going to kindergarten, {work} having plays at school, {work}, work, work, work…. There was never enough time to be able to sit down and watch my son grow. I will all ways have to live with that. Even if he understands and tells me not to let it bother me. I wish it wouldn’t, but it does.
I have all ways had to go to work on some of the most important times it seems. Either birthdays or holiday’s, I would all ways be asked to work. My family was very understanding and yet I still feel guilty.
Even with pay raises and benefits it still seems like i am having to work even more. Now I have also a 17 soon 18 year old daughter and a 11 year old son. I have had to go through some mass hard and trying times, and yet I would do it all again. {just change a few times a bit}
A father learning to be a dad, what a concept. Seems to be working. There not in jail or having kids, so I guess I must be doing somthing right. Just wish I knew so I could make more time to watch them grow.

Chow