Alaska Williams

Life is still Life

Alaska Williams — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 08:41:26 +0000

Well… it’s been awhile that I have been on.

I guess not much has changed. I am at a new job and still wonder where I stand in life.

I seem to wonder what will behold for me. Do I really want to know?
I am older now and yet seem to be wanting to stay 17.
I look in the past for answers of today. Non of it seems right.

Life is still Life.

Do you love me for who I am? or Who I was?

Alaska Williams — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 06:33:11 +0000

I have to ask this, I wonder. I am no different then what I was, other then I am not making the income I use to.

So I wonder if it was cause of the position I was in at the time and now that I am no longer,, is that the reason you have no desire for me now? Still wondering.

I cry in the shower to hide the tears

Alaska Williams — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 05:12:19 +0000

I’m not to sure why I am writing this, yet I feel like I need to.

I have been married for over 20 years now. With three kids the oldest 22 and the youngest 13 and a 19 year old in the middle.

I feel that I have lost the love I use to have with my wife.
We talk and go shopping together, but for two years now when it come to getting a hug, kiss or even a “I Love You” it does not happen.
I showed my feelings a year ago, with tears and questions about us, yet after it was all said and done, I did not even get a hug or it’s OK.
I am so confused of what to do. I don”t want to leave, she is the perfect lady for me. Yet when there is no intimacy, I feel worthless.

So now I have learned to cry in the shower to hide the tears, just let them fall down the drain. That way I don’t have to show I am in pain.

Do You?

Alaska Williams — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:46:00 +0000

Do you think of me at work?

Do you dream of me while you sleep?

Would you miss me if I were gone?

RC 2010

2009 Almost Done

Alaska Williams — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 07:27:50 +0000

Wa Hooo…. 2009 is almost at an end and the 2010 era will soon be upon us.
For some of us it is a time for making resolutions and trying to be a better person…. and so forth.
Yet I feel like I should have been a bit better off then this.
I can’t say as I feel that 2009 was well worth it.
Thought I had a good job and was making a well thought out plan for the future. HA,…. did that ever shoot back up in my face.
My family is still together, guess that is a plus.
2009 is a year that really sucked!….. OK!… It was not productive and I am glad it will be over soon. Sure hope that 2010 will be a better year.
I know I should not feel this way but to tell ya truth I am so sick of not getting the love anymore.
I have yet to figure out why I can’t cuddle or get a hug, or even a “I Love You” now and then.

O’well guess it’s just another day in my world.

Chow for Now

Back at my old job

Alaska Williams — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 09:09:55 +0000

Well after 5 months I had to go back to my old job.
This time of a different position, not a supervisor…. strange.
I felt a bit unease. I have worked there for 17 years and yet in just under a half a year I felt like a “newbie”, wasn’t sure what to do. Weird.
Here I am at 42 and at the end of another year, Wow… what a different way to think when I thought I was changing my life six months ago.
Thinking I was about to make a new chapter in my life, something I thought was to make my family and I happy. What a joke!
I should have known that I was making a mistake. Now I am really wondering.
I guess I should be happy that I have a job. I left on real good terms, did not “Burn the Bridge” as to say. but yet still feel cheated in a way.
Well life goes on and I will write new chapters in my life as they come.
Then why?…. Nobody sees my life and how I feel.
Now,… if I only had a way to make my dreams become reality.

Chow for Now

Snow is here, and I feel older.

Alaska Williams — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:39:38 +0000

Well it has finally snowed here in Alaska. About 2-5 inches.
My son said he had to shut a window where he was at cause it got cold.
Of course he is in Arizona. Lucky kid.
Not too much going on. My daughter turned 19 and I feel older.
My oldest son in AZ is doing fine he is working and waiting to see a football game with mom in January. Mom to is also eager to get out of the cold, agin.
My son and I met in Seattle to see the Seahawks slam the Cougars 41-0. Awesome first game. Plus it was a well overdue father – son get together. We had a fun time and am waiting for next year.
As for me I am doing my own thing. Just do small jobs to past the time for now. I’m not to sure where to go from here. After working 17 years at the same place and thinking that I was never going to leave now seems like I can’t beleave I did it. Here I thought I was making a great decision and to find out that I was not going to make the money as promised.
Wow … what a real bummer. I was really hoping to have made a good decision for once.
I spent time and money to get it to work.
Now I have to look for work agin. At 42 this is not as easy as it sounds. Plus unemployment is lame cause I worked 17 years and only get the last years unemployment.
Come to find out if you don’t use unemployment in one year, then you lose it. Now when you do need it then you only have the previous year and not the number of years worked. Tell me then where does the rest of those years go?
So now I am enjoying the life of sitting at home and being “Mister Mom”. Fun Fun.
Life goes on!

Chow for Now

My son Flew the coupe

Alaska Williams — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 13:14:52 +0000

Well my son turned 21 in March, he left for Arizona about a week ago.
Man do I miss him.
I know he will be OK. He is a smart man and is a go getter (at times).
Really though, it is cool to have raised a fine young man. We are proud of him and all he accomplished growing up. From football to graduating with honers. Now that was cool. My son with a 4.0 and dad with a 0.4. ( I did’nt finish school)
He has allways wanted to leave Alaska, not to much here to do.
What will be a wonder is how he will adjust to the heat. Here in Alaska the temp tops out at maybe 65 – 75, but there the temp can top out at 100 and more.
Well I’m sure what ever the temp is he’ll be happy there.

Chow for Now.

See Ya Ted Stevens

Alaska Williams — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:33:15 +0000

Well after 40 years of up holding Alaska’s values and best interests it is time to say Good bye.
There are many mixed feeling towards Ted Stevens.
Some were surprised when they found out that his house came about from the help of VECO and other companies, and $250,000 my not seem alot but think of the folks out there who have to deal with everyday life. They did not see any thing from Ted Stevens that others did.
Money was put to other things then what was needed at the time.

Now we will have a new government soon. This will be a mark for history.
You see the goverment has always been to me a bunch of people who sit around and talk about what should be done and then make promises to each other, just to help some others in there politacal life.
Yet the American worker is left with higher food, gas, electric, house payments and so on.
This new government that has come about will have to deal with what the over 200 years of known political ways were lived by and for some died by.
I really hope this new goverment will be able to fix this mess we are in.
Chow for Now

Was Portage Glacier / Now Portage Lake

Alaska Williams — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 03:30:23 +0000

It wasn’t but 30 years ago we use to go to Portage Glacier a well known place to visit and see the glacier up close. There we would get our coolers and pack it with glacier ice, it was awesome for packing the camping goods.
Tourist would come from all over the world just to be able to see if not touch the historic glacier.
Now we have a visitor center and it shows how the glacier has disappeared threw out the years.
I have seen this in other glaciers from around the world and it is sad, we as man kind have now only begun to understand the impact the has been created from years of unknowing / uncaring uses of different chemicals and gases.
Even with this, I am still amazed on how many people view this as normal, when the only normal thing is the result from our learning and evolution to were we are today.
Look if we knew this 20 or 30 years ago we would still be in the ages of the 70′s.
That is, we would be looking to figure a way to have energy with the lowest impact on earth.
Yet in the 70′s we were told of these things and it is ironic to have come from many folks from a time of free love and wanting peace. You know who you are and for the ones who have past on, well this is for you. You told us this was going to happen if we did not start looking into ways to reduce our need for oil and other forms of problems that we face due to man kinds goofs.

Chow