Insight to a Alaskan Family
Well… it’s been awhile that I have been on.
I guess not much has changed. I am at a new job and still wonder where I stand in life.
I seem to wonder what will behold for me. Do I really want to know?
I am older now and yet seem to be wanting to stay 17.
I look in the past for answers of today. Non of it seems right.
Life is still Life.
I have to ask this, I wonder. I am no different then what I was, other then I am not making the income I use to.
So I wonder if it was cause of the position I was in at the time and now that I am no longer,, is that the reason you have no desire for me now? Still wondering.
I’m not to sure why I am writing this, yet I feel like I need to.
I have been married for over 20 years now. With three kids the oldest 22 and the youngest 13 and a 19 year old in the middle.
I feel that I have lost the love I use to have with my wife.
We talk and go shopping together, but for two years now when it come to getting a hug, kiss or even a “I Love You” it does not happen.
I showed my feelings a year ago, with tears and questions about us, yet after it was all said and done, I did not even get a hug or it’s OK.
I am so confused of what to do. I don”t want to leave, she is the perfect lady for me. Yet when there is no intimacy, I feel worthless.
So now I have learned to cry in the shower to hide the tears, just let them fall down the drain. That way I don’t have to show I am in pain.
Wa Hooo…. 2009 is almost at an end and the 2010 era will soon be upon us.
For some of us it is a time for making resolutions and trying to be a better person…. and so forth.
Yet I feel like I should have been a bit better off then this.
I can’t say as I feel that 2009 was well worth it.
Thought I had a good job and was making a well thought out plan for the future. HA,…. did that ever shoot back up in my face.
My family is still together, guess that is a plus.
2009 is a year that really sucked!….. OK!… It was not productive and I am glad it will be over soon. Sure hope that 2010 will be a better year.
I know I should not feel this way but to tell ya truth I am so sick of not getting the love anymore.
I have yet to figure out why I can’t cuddle or get a hug, or even a “I Love You” now and then.
O’well guess it’s just another day in my world.
Chow for Now
Alaska Williams 
Do You?
Published February 23, 2010 Alaska , All , Blogging , confused , Culture , depressed , deprived , Education , Environment , Events , Family , Friends , God , health , History , Life , love , Miscellaneous , My Life , Nature , New , News , People , Personal , Politics , Random , relationship , Religion , Science , sex , Thought , Thoughts , travel , Uncategorized , World , Writing Leave a CommentTags: age, belief, Comment, Family, father, friend, God, grow, growing up, human, kids, lady, Life, love, parents, raising, society, teenagers, wife, World
Do you think of me at work?
Do you dream of me while you sleep?
Would you miss me if I were gone?
RC 2010